I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize