She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
