There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
there is glitter all over my balls
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
