THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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