I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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