PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
