Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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