From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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