Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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