yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
