why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
