Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize