i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
