What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize