i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
How does one acquire holy water?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
