I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
