i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
