Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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