I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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