Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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