dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
