her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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