So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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