So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
people are starting to question the shark bite story
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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