Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
