I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
