your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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