Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
