he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
