Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
