i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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