I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
