Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize