seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
