The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
