He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
