i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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