Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
