What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
MIDGETS
????
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
