I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize