I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
