If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
