she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
