I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
