I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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