Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
