Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
