i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Hippo gnu deer
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
