Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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