In America we eat man semen.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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