Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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