I faked an abortion last night.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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