i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
