i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
