I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
