Small penises have feelings too.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
