:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Pants are for mortals
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
