OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
