I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you traded sex for a burrito?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
