Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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