I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
