I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
