FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
